Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.