Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
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the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
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It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.