wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..