the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after