I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
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I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
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We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once