There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?