Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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