Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Randomize
