Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
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She kept screaming "best case scenario"
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
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dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.