spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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