Whod you bang
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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