Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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