My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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