my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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