i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Randomize
