There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
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