Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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