where am i from again
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I have peed in a lot of sinks
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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