You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
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He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
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After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
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