Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
