If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
