I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
