babies were throwing up all over the place
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
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She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
MIDGETS
????
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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