dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
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I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
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It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
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