So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize