i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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