Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize