I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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