My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize