return my video game
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
