Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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