FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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