Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
