you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
