can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?