When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.