i just wanna soil my oats bro
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize