you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
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there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
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The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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