That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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