Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize