Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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