Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
