lets start a swedish sibling band together
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Randomize
