my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
he puts the penis in happiness.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
