i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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