After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
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Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
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Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.