She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.