is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday