I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"