Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(513): View more from Ohio

K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.

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(513): K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one. http://tfl.nu/m0eu

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(805): View more from California

NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??

(805): View more from California

He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.

(814): View more from Pennsylvania

You should probably go find him.

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(805): NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be?? (805): He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is. (814): You should probably go find him. http://tfl.nu/673m

Replies (11) Good night (2933) Bad night (832)
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(304): View more from West Virginia

my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh

(513): View more from Ohio

is this your pickup line?

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(304): my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh (513): is this your pickup line? http://tfl.nu/r4ba

Replies (20) Good night (727) Bad night (5263)
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(845): View more from New York

Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.

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(845): Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad. http://tfl.nu/mllb

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.

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(203): Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do. http://tfl.nu/ir0f

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(703): View more from Virginia

I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.

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(703): I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone. http://tfl.nu/c91d

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?

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(508): He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig? http://tfl.nu/6st9

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.

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(717): He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home. http://tfl.nu/aglq

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(317): View more from Indiana

Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.

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(317): Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex. http://tfl.nu/7i2a

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day

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(414): Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day http://tfl.nu/nn34

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.

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(267): I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night. http://tfl.nu/8jcd

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(618): View more from Illinois

And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it

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(618): And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it http://tfl.nu/zwsy

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(+61): View more from Australia

It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.

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(+61): It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys. http://tfl.nu/j3cl

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.

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(401): Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool. http://tfl.nu/duy9

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(858): View more from California

Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's

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(858): Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's http://tfl.nu/vv8r

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