who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
