I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Randomize
