Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
