dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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