If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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