It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I will be naked everywhere
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC