True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes