Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.