you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
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You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
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Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE