you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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