I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.