She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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